good & evil

“It was all a matter of control. And choice.

Nothing more and nothing less.”

-The Devil and Miss Prym, Paulo Coelho

 

Under every thought, every feeling, and every action, there is good & evil.

good.

The calming parts of me are good. good is taking a deep breath and taking in what is happening around you in this moment, right now. good means letting go of self-imposed scrutiny and stress, the strings we attach on things that are out of our control.

If your actions are led by good then you are free, and at peace. It takes effort to do this.

evil.

The manipulative parts of me are evil. evil fills a resolution with doubt. evil can change the way you see yourself, twisting the image until you are not sure any goodness ever existed at all.

If you allow evil to control your actions then you lock yourself in a cell invisible to others. It is easy to do this.

 

So good is a climb, and evil is a slide. So are good & evil equal? In presence I believe good & evil are always equal. In control, there is a constant teetering.

So which wins? I’d like to say there is a third player here, and that is choice.

 

With addiction it can feel like choice is non-existent, especially when you begin to follow habitual cycles. It may feel like you are trapped and that there is no escape so why even bother?

This is a difficult question to answer. But if you’ve made it this far in this post I think you’re ready for what I’ve found from personal experience.

The fourth player. And that is time.

So you may want to give up. Give in. I encourage you to wait. Sitting with uncomfortable emotions will feel worse than your self-imposed cell. Your cell was familiar, and at first comforting. evil will give you a thousand excuses to walk in, lock the door, and throw away the key.

But with time evil becomes more sour, and good becomes more sweet.

(yes, I just made a reference to Sour Patch Kids).

 

So give it time. As much as you can stand, and notice how even though you feel drained and uncomfortable, there is also a conscious relief. That you used time and choice, and what by now would have tasted quite sour now is sweet in comparison.

So that’s all, really. Just wanted to leave you with a bit of truth. Good luck!

 

Have a good one,

~Sierra